Contemplating my Demons – Writing and Exercise

The two subjects of this post, to my mind, have a lot in common.

I have to make time in my life for both of them, for the good of my health. Exercise for my physical health, writing for my mental health. It’s not easy. Sometimes they are both a chore, and I’d rather lie on the sofa watching “The Simpsons” than do either. The key for both is to develop a regular routine and stick to it. Once I do this, they both become easier, and more enjoyable.

The other thing they have in common is that I’ve done neither for weeks. The exercise dropped off a couple of weeks before our holiday. I was feeling under the weather for a while, then I got too busy with work, and doing stuff for the holiday, then we went away and now I am out of the habit.

And the writing. Oh, the writing. Since I presented the WIP to the writing group and it was systematically ripped to shreds, I haven’t written a word (apart from updating this blog).

For the first two or three weeks, I told myself I needed to step away from the manuscript. It was true I needed to start over; I had to think about what to fix. Give myself some distance. Give myself time to lick my wounds.

Then, as with the exercise, I got busy with work and holiday preparations. Then, the holiday. I never seem to write on holiday. My brain is just always in the wrong place for it.

It’s now been two months since I last wrote any fiction. There can be no more excuses. I can’t say I’m a writer and never write. I can’t keep waiting for inspiration to strike because it never will. I can’t keep thinking, “I can’t do it” and look for reasons, any reason, to not sit down and write.

I am resolved to making a start on the new draft tonight. Even if I only get a couple of pages done, I am going to sit here and write something. Even typing this blog is giving me an excuse not to open up the WIP and get to work.

It might mean I have to tie my leg to the chair. it might mean I have to lock myself in the room. It might mean I don’t get to go to bed till after midnight. But I have to sit down and start making some order out of the chaos my Draft 2 has become. I have to start again. I have to write something. I have to face my demons.


1 comment so far

  1. Ana on

    Perhaps you are being too hard on yourself. We are all writers in our own way, and we don’t need to ‘write’ hard to make ourselfs be heard. You have beautifully expressed yourself in writing today, as you share this entry with us. I am sure that the writer in your stories will flourish when you are ready to do so, and not because you feel pressurized. I hope it goes well, and you find peace in yourself before devoting your time to writing.

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